The Christians control nano-technology
Not that its much of stretch. So last night I go to some fundraiser that a business associate of mine invited me to. I decided it seemed cool and I didn't want to fuck up any future dealings I may have with this guy. So I decide to bring my brother as he is in town and we rarely hang out.
So we go to this thing and it sucks major ass. Apparently the fundraiser was for a cultural arts program. Normally I'm for the arts, but when the owner and major contributors of the program are all millionaires I find it sad that they would line their pockets with money that they con into getting with some sob story.
So anyways, as I walk in I note that I am sitting in the reject section (which is apparently the guests of people who donated). Sitting in the back alone with my brother was probably a blessing as we were able to express our usual dickhead self by insulting everyone in the room.
The night seemed to be going at a horribly slow pace, but at least the food was good. After a few segments in the show, my business associate (who by now is completely wasted) insists my brother and I sit with him at his table right by the stage.
We decline, but he persists, so we agree. As my brother and I walk to the front we were laughing at something (not really sure as the whole night was hilarious) and I guess we looked quite giddy.
As soon as we sit, they announce that there is a fashion show. My brother and I quickly look back at the people in the adjacent tables and they all seem to have this look of disgust (mind you majority of this crowd were 50-something). I here someone whisper "horndogs."
What makes the situation worse is that the models were probably all 16 or 17...not really sure. So as the brief fashion show ends, some stupid ass singer comes up. My brother and I were eager to move back to hidden seats, but at this point were trying to save face, so we sat through that shit.
Following that act, my brother comes up with the genius idea of giving this singer a standing ovation, in the hopes of convincing the rest of the audience that we were huge fans and only sat in the front to hear this douche sing. I'm sure in his head he thought it was a success, but I didn't feel the same way.
So the night goes on and I try to find an excuse to leave, but then the "associate" catches me in the lobby on the way out. He proceeds to tell me about how many hot women there are at this thing (he is in his 50's and the crowd was too) and I dismiss him in an attempt to take a piss.
As I walk into the restroom and proceed to whip it out at the urinal he stumbles in. In an awkward moment he rests his arm on my shoulder, basically checking my shit out as I pee and tells me he is tired of "old ladies" hitting on him. This is about 2 minutes after he was saying everyone in the place is hot.
Somehow I find a way of getting out of the bathroom and he confronts me one last time. This time he tells me that the Christians are going to rule and destroy the world by controlling nanotechnology. He turns around and shares this view with some random stranger and I run for the door.
All in all it was a fantastic night.
So we go to this thing and it sucks major ass. Apparently the fundraiser was for a cultural arts program. Normally I'm for the arts, but when the owner and major contributors of the program are all millionaires I find it sad that they would line their pockets with money that they con into getting with some sob story.
So anyways, as I walk in I note that I am sitting in the reject section (which is apparently the guests of people who donated). Sitting in the back alone with my brother was probably a blessing as we were able to express our usual dickhead self by insulting everyone in the room.
The night seemed to be going at a horribly slow pace, but at least the food was good. After a few segments in the show, my business associate (who by now is completely wasted) insists my brother and I sit with him at his table right by the stage.
We decline, but he persists, so we agree. As my brother and I walk to the front we were laughing at something (not really sure as the whole night was hilarious) and I guess we looked quite giddy.
As soon as we sit, they announce that there is a fashion show. My brother and I quickly look back at the people in the adjacent tables and they all seem to have this look of disgust (mind you majority of this crowd were 50-something). I here someone whisper "horndogs."
What makes the situation worse is that the models were probably all 16 or 17...not really sure. So as the brief fashion show ends, some stupid ass singer comes up. My brother and I were eager to move back to hidden seats, but at this point were trying to save face, so we sat through that shit.
Following that act, my brother comes up with the genius idea of giving this singer a standing ovation, in the hopes of convincing the rest of the audience that we were huge fans and only sat in the front to hear this douche sing. I'm sure in his head he thought it was a success, but I didn't feel the same way.
So the night goes on and I try to find an excuse to leave, but then the "associate" catches me in the lobby on the way out. He proceeds to tell me about how many hot women there are at this thing (he is in his 50's and the crowd was too) and I dismiss him in an attempt to take a piss.
As I walk into the restroom and proceed to whip it out at the urinal he stumbles in. In an awkward moment he rests his arm on my shoulder, basically checking my shit out as I pee and tells me he is tired of "old ladies" hitting on him. This is about 2 minutes after he was saying everyone in the place is hot.
Somehow I find a way of getting out of the bathroom and he confronts me one last time. This time he tells me that the Christians are going to rule and destroy the world by controlling nanotechnology. He turns around and shares this view with some random stranger and I run for the door.
All in all it was a fantastic night.
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