Wednesday, July 27, 2005 

I have not left the blog

yes...I have been dicking around on RoosterTeet.com, and my internet time has gone down considerably, but I felt the need to post something new here. I have absoultely nothing to say, except that I will say something when I have the chance. I'm sure none of you are reading this right now.
I shall return

Wednesday, July 06, 2005 

The oddest 4th of July

Its been awhile since I've posted or even checked the sites, but I was out of town. I went down to L.A. to visit the girlfriend and have to say the trip was quite fun. I flew down on Friday and immediately got laid. I had dinner with her folks which was quite interesting as her step-dad apparently liked me more than her.
We ended up going out for drinks with her friends at FireFly which was a pretty cool lounge. Friday was pretty good, even though I stayed sober, but I got mine so it was all good.
On Saturday we visited Disney Land which was a blast. Once again I used my amusement park scam to skip lines. All you have to do is go to guest services and pretend you have a knee or ankle problem that doesn't allow you to stand for prolonged periods of time. A bandage can help, but Disney Land is quite easy when they give out the handicap passes. So we went on every ride 2 or 3 times by 7 PM and then called it a day.
We headed back to her place and fucked some more.
I don't remember what we did Sunday cause we stayed in. We watched some documentary called "The World According to Bush" but I wont elaborate on that cause I try to avoid political discussions or discussions that have any relevance for that matter.
Needless to say a lot of sex was had.
So the 4th of July comes around and we weren't sure what to do. She wanted to hang out with one of her friends from work. So we decided to check out the fireworks at Marina Del Ray. So we drive out to her friend's place in Sherman Oaks so we can ride out to the fireworks together. As we get there her friend had a friend over who was apparently gonna drive us. The dude was wearing some fruity-ass cowboy hat and appeared to not have shaven in 3 or 4 weeks. He kept talking about how he had just wrapped ("wrapped" is hollywood lingo for finished) some reality show and had just got back in.
He insists we drive out to some party before the fireworks so we agree. As we arrive at the party there are 5 people hanging around a grill. All 5 of these people are "actors." I use the term "actors" loosely as they have yet to actually act in anything. I'm sure I did see one of em in a herpes ad though.
So Mr. Hollywood (the guy with the doofy hat) says there is a huge party and we should go to that instead, so once again we decide to (seeing as he is our ride and all). Meanwhile he continues describe his reality show and how he got to hang out with George Foreman, Jr., Brittany Gastineau and Pat Benetar's kid.
His show is called Filthy Rich and premiers on the E channel next month. So, my girl her friend and I are quite bored as his stories go on until we finally arrive at this other party. We get in and there are maybe 7 people there. Half the crowd were Brazilian models, which was kinda cool except I couldn't understand a word they were saying. Then I had to listen to them make fun of my name for 5 minutes. Finally I told them just to call me Kevin and leave it at that.
We had a good view of the marina from this place except it was kinda cloudy so the fireworks were nothing more than colored clouds and a lot of noise.
So my girl and her friend insist on going to the Cheesecake Factory for drinks and dinner. Mr. Hollywood starts bitching at my girl's friend saying she's ruining her night and that we coulda gone to a massive party. Anyways we get to the restaurant and proceed to get fucked up. Finally I decide to ask Mr. Hollywood who his parents were (mainly cause everyone else on his show were celebrity kids). He then tells me his dad is Robert Blake.
As he says it, I hold in my laughter as I sip my Bikini Martini. His dad was Baretta. I kinda felt awkward cause we had talked for a good 20 minutes or so about how Mark Gastineau (father of one of his co-stars) went to prison, not unlike his dad.
I wanted to tell him that I thought his dad was nuts and awesome, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.
So we get wasted and discuss many things such as how he dated Salma Hayek and my girlfriend's lesbian tendencies, etc.
Then we headed back home and I got laid again.
beretta
Story over.
And for the record I only referred to my getting laid 4 times, but in reality it was a lot more than that.
Additionally I did say I had a Bikini Martini and I am man enough to admit it.