Poon Job's Palace

Thats right bitches! I have decided to bring back a little flavor in the form of my transportation.

To give you a little back story...I got back from Shitcago (and all other parts of Illinois) last week and have returned to the wonderful Bay Area. So I moved back into my bland place (sadly the walls are not adorned with pictures of Paris and douchebags) and came to the realization that I no longer had a car.
So what did I do...I called up the folks. Yes, I regressed to my highschool days and asked mommy and daddy for a car. They are pretty well off and have a fleet of nice cars, any of which would have sufficed quite well. After about a half hour of sweet talk on the phone I decided to tell them my predicament.
All was going well...it appeared as if I would be hitting the road in style. Until they told me which ride I would be getting. They said it would be cool if I could drive the car they loaned me back in my highschool days.
A 1992 sky blue Toyota Previa. The fucking "egg" as it was referred to in my youth. I recall converting the back into a bed so that I would take "naps" in between class.
But alas, my once glorious chariot has become a heaping pile of shit. My parents left the car with the employees for lugging crap around for the family businesses. The radio and CD player is gone...there are only 2 seats left in the car...the sliding door doesn't open...and I'm sure there are quite a few other problems that I have yet to discover.

Normally this wouldn't be so bad, except my girl is coming into town (she decided to take a break from nailing Anfer in LA) and I gotta pick her up in this turd.
In other news, I got Anfer's DVD in the mail...I figured I'd watch it when she comes up...she can tell me what she sees in him, and she can tell me which one of us has a bigger penis.
As for the new ranking system on Joe's blog, I am quite happy. It means that all you other fucks with blogs out there need to keep the standards quite high or very low at the best (I hope that counted as a shoutout). Additionally feel free to click on the picture.

I'm sure you all know that. I would also like to congratulate her on what will most likely be her only shout out.

Seeing as she removed her breakfast of champions post I figured I'd bring back the picture for those of you who missed out.

Enjoy

So I was dicking around trying to edit my blog...thankfully I have superior computer skills and I am a master of copying and pasting html code. So anyways I added a counter to the bottom of my site cause I'm cool like that.
So, after I add it I get the urge to click the "next blog" tab at the top of the screen. The first page I end up on is some douchebag who works at Wal-Mart's page. He rambles about the fun and excitement that he experiences everyday as part of the Wal-Mart welcoming comittee. "Fuck that !" I says and I decide to click on the "next blog" tab again.
And it brought me here. This site offered an audio blog, which I thought was pretty nifty. So I decided to click on one of the links. Figured I'd hear some tool talk about collecting Star Wars action figures or drool over some bitch he's got a crush on.
Anyways...my prediction couldn't have been farther off. After listening to the first 30 odd seconds of her discuss swallowing a hot load of splooge I felt that my colleagues were getting uncomfortable.
So I decided to leave the audio experience for all of you. But especially for you Alex...I figured you'd appreciate the few clips of her having some of the sex.


Side note: After spending the greater part of 2 hours doing quizzes with "someone" I learnerd what type of care bear I am.

Tramp Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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In my opinion I am subpar at best. However my luck with women is always streaky. I'm usually casual and laid back in my approach as I tend to get my fair share of ass, however as of late I am just getting annoyed.
It seems that women usually don't give a shit about me until I start seeing someone. Then they all start to crawl out of the woodwork. During my initial single periods they wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. I guess there is some fucked up lunar alignment in which they gain an affinity to my dick.

When my ass got dumped a couple months ago, I went through my dry spell. It lasted about 3 weeks. Just as I start to get my groove back my options seem to open up. At first this was a good dilemma to have. I mean, which hot blooded young male would turn down a smorgisboard of fine ass.
So anyways...after careful deliberation as well as groping I decide on one. This is normally a good thing. I'm guaranteed a steady piece of ass (no offense if you are reading this baby), however other women have to complicate shit for me.

I don't know if they all just suddenly got desperate, or if they just realized I exist. I'm not the one to cheat (however I have no problems breaking up with someone and fucking someone else the same night) and will never be that guy. So now I am left to kick myself for being so amazingly hot.

I guess it could be worse. I could be celibate*.

*Ang reference. I hope your hyman grows back in nicely.

After reading my last post he decided to go and get himself some lung cancer. Well fuck you Jennings!!! I can get lung cancer if I wanted to.
And might I add that Prince Ranier III of Monaco passed away as well.



Way to jump on the bandwagon guys!

I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon and declare that I have terminal cancer of the ass. If Terry Schiavo and the Pope can die or be near death, than so can I.
I can no longer sit by and watch the headlines that should be devoted to the upcoming NFL draft go to 2 people who have asoultely nothing to do with my life.
It is for this reason that I have decided to throw my hat into the ring.
Please send cards, flowers, gifts, and money to me. I feel these will help ease my pain as I progress into the next life or at least 6 feet under.
I feel if I'm rotting in the ground it will be much better if I rot in style.